Journal entry: [b]Inner Emptiness: [/b]Replying to other posts: (written in English and I hope it gets automatically translated into German in your browser)
[b]To Caro: [/b]You asked what comes first, the emptiness or the addiction. If you define emptiness in your way, you might say it's the monotonous life that creates this "inner emptiness". And does that mean we need stress to not get monotonous? Definitely not. But if you look at our history, the history of human evolution, we were always put into some sort of existential situation where we had to "act", take "decisions" and embrace the "outcome". We are always in a "process", we were "dynamic". A secured life wasn't that much of common throughout the history of human evolution.
So now come back to the question. "Do we want a steady, static life even if it puts us in a straight linear path or a more up & down sinusoidal path where we have to go outside our comfort zone and can't be sure what result is waiting around the corner!
"I want to evolve", that's what I can tell about me. I don't like to stay at a point. I want to embrace this journey.
And now let's talk about the addiction part. About that, I can share my opinion in the next reply that I want to write to Klaus.
[b]To Klaus: [/b]Klaus thanks for writing everything with a logic. Our body is complicated. The neuro-chemical interaction can produce results that we can call an "addiction". What I understand we have our "body" since the beginning of our lives but we barely know it! How many of us can identify our bodily behaviors or can define every physical phenomena. Some basics we all know, Hunger, Sleep, Excitement, Sadness, Joy, Happiness, Fear. But do we really know how those things happen? I doubt we do, maybe some do, but not everyone. How can a normal people define this scenario: "Waking up in the morning, smoking one before breakfast, suppressing the need of the nutrition in body with another cigarette (sometimes with a cup of coffee), starting a day with rush, sitting in the traffic (lighting two more till you reach your destination), start working but feeling tiredness and lack of concentration (then one small rauchen pause).... repeating the circle over and over till you return home and... and one last cigarette and one last after that last ... till you sleep with an uneasiness.
Pain in the bone joints, stomachache, hypertension, chronic tiredness, some unfortunate ones will face other chronic diseases.... countless after-effects.
Can we point ? everything towards cigarette? It's hard but possible. Smoking itself creates the exhaustion and triggers other complications.
So it's hard to see for "that" person to see the overall damages cigarette is doing.
And if he sees it somehow, why does that person feels hopeless to do something about it or change it?
[b]To Paul: [/b]Thank for sharing your own experiences with addiction. You said it out loud: "Addictive substances intensify depression"
So if that person (referring to the person in the the reply to Klaus), can't understand how did his physiology/ body respond to the Addictive characteristics of an Addiction (for example cigarette), it would definitely be hard for him as well to differentiate between the "Addiction withdrawal symptoms" & "depression". Why? Because he is missed out the logic there and also now here.
What he gonna do now? Does he want to experience the same journey of discovering the truth by himself or believing what you and others have already found out? Even if he tries to do everything by himself from the scratch, is there any guarantee that he will be successful? We only live once and time lost can't be refunded!
How can we help that person or others?
[b]To Caro for the second time: [/b]Have you realized what you were looking for? The answer to your very first question, "What comes first, Addiction or Emptiness?"
Paul here shared his thought. Depression or Emptiness are different than the addiction. Addiction isn't a solution, it just numbs your feelings, hide your problems for short term, but it NEVER solves anything and it intensifies the problem even more!
But now you might ask, "Which problem should I solve first? My inner emptiness or my addiction?"
And that person (yeah still that person who has no clue how everything is playing out), also has a very similar question. As he is a simple minded, less curious and less complex, he asks that question even in a simpler way, "How can i be happy or simply "okay"???"
[b]To Brigit: [/b]Congratulation on your success of accepting emptiness. I find it difficult to do so. How can we relate "emptiness" with our inability to find logic or change our behavior?
If you try to explain that person, all these things, how you gonna approach? Maybe you can say "Be mindful, practice mindfulness, listen to your inner soul, give attention to your body, carefully track your behavioral patterns, "what" you like most, why you like that "what", is anything holding you back, stress at home/ work, any physical mental illness, problems in surroundings, and so on!"
I am that person. Or anyone can be that person. We don't understand logic or facts most of the time. But yes, we can ask questions. A simple question. And when we can find the answer then we have two more options; accepting it or rejecting it.
(Here just an example)
Problem: Cigarette addiction.
Underlying problem: Stress at work
Solution: Change the working environment
Option 1: Find new work
Option 2: Find the cause of the problems at your work and solve them.
......
......
......
And this can go on till we solve the very basic problem and come back to our initial problem, smoking.
But hey, we aren't living in an utopia! There wasn't ever such thing!
So at the end most probably "that person" can't solve his "work place" problem partially or completely. Then how can he solve his addiction problem?
Is there any solution?
Maybe not a single solution but a combination of few solutions...
1. Be determined and just quit smoking. (Not for that person, he is fragile and 99% of us are so)
2. Find out what other problems you can lebel as "underlying problems"
a) health issue
b) family issue
c) problem in surroundings
d) ....
e) ....
3. Maybe that person won't be able to solve everything 100%, but maybe few %
4. He will see the change, he will experience the change.
5. Maybe he will reduce the number of smokes. And I hope his problems will also go lower. It gonna take time for sure.
[b]To Paola: [/b]
I want to quit smoking.
But that's not my main goal.
My main goal is to live a meaningful life.
And I can't allow another addiction (bad one) to take the place of smoking.
Better I solve my other underlying issues so I can at least keep every harmful things at bay!
[b]To Silke: [/b]I have a "cornerstone" method. That I am following since last year. What is it? So I get lost very easily (my thoughts and mind get lost, not "me", I have Google maps).
So what I do, I have a "cornerstone" in my head. And whenever I am lost in thoughts, I get back to my cornerstone and find myself. But as I said, I am very new in this cornerstone thing, and I didn't even start it for myself! What I am doing, I am doing it for a reason and yes that reason is not "myself"
[b]To me & to everyone else: [/b]I know there is something that we can call it "emptiness". It's a restlessness an uneasy feeling. It's like missing out something, stuck in somewhere.
What can I do about it? As Paul said there is no emoji that can express that feeling. Do I want to accept that feeling?
Here in this thread once I said I wanted to name that feeling, that restlessness as a "fire" that's burning inside me. I want to be angry. I want to be restless, running after something. But I don't want to submit myself to "emptiness". I hate it. I reject its existence, even if it's real. That's my way to fight against it.
Meaning of life, our purpose, where we are heading towards, our existence, those questions were asked millions of times before and will be asked in the future. Some may say, they have those answers, others might accept or reject those answers. In the vastness of this universe, a single person is nothing compared to it. But to that person, he is everything. Some might say breaking that barrier of singularity can show you the path. Some other might say "It's all about you. End of the day it's you who does actually matter"
But it's upto that person, which path he/ she wants to take. Which ideology he wants to accept.
So this is my path. I have my cornerstone. And I want to Integra this "cornerstone" in my own self also.
For someone who has no idea why all those things happen, or what is the way to quit any addiction, or how to find out what the underlying problems are, how to deal with feelings and emotions, you can try this way. It's not a complete solution, but it might lead you to somewhere, to something.
Find out your purpose, (make one if you don't have one)
How you gonna do the selection (try to break the barrier of "me", see the world as a part of you or you as a part of the world.
Love someone. Love someone so madly that you want to move the mountain for her, for him.
Go step by step. There is always logic behind everything. If you can't see the logic, it's not because there isn't any, it's because your inability to see it. Try your best.
Writing helps me. It helps to calm me down, control my cravings.
Whatever you do, breathing exercises, physical exercises, working extra hours, spending time with yourself or with others, hobbies, going to for a walk, sitting quietly on a park bench, anything you are doing, just find a cornerstone for your thoughts. Get back to it when you are lost.
I know you can make this world a better place.
You’re not just quitting smoking—you’re evolving.